And I don’t mean to other people because you’re way too nice for that. I mean, don’t say mean stuff to yourself.

It’s not just when you’re changing your eating habits, either. It’s anytime you’re reinventing some aspect of yourself.

If you wouldn’t tell a friend that her thighs are gross, then don’t say it to yourself either. Like your mama always said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” That includes inside your head or out loud to that crazy woman staring at you from the mirror.

With all due respect to Billy Crystal’s SNL character, it’s better to feel mahvelous than to look it. But let’s keep trying for both, eh?

Sometime when you’re feeling particularly good about yourself, make a list of all the ways you’re fabulous. You make people laugh … you shoo spiders outside instead of squishing them … you’re a good listener … whatever. Then whenever your inner critic visits, yank out the list and show it to her to shut her up.

Lighten up and go easy on yourself. Change is hard, and revamping your diet, your activity levels and your lifestyle is definite change.

If you don’t stick to your plan or meet your goals one day, don’t give up. Just get right back to it the next day.

If you get a traffic ticket, you don’t say, “I’m horrible and disgusting and I may as well run red lights all day. Heck, I won’t drive ever again! It’s useless!”  Instead you’ll probably say, after a few choice words that would make a sailor blush, “I made a mistake. I’ll do better.” Then you’ll drive more carefully.

Same with your new lifestyle goals. My favorite saying is, “Fall down seven times; get up eight.”  If you slip up, forgive yourself and move on.

But you can make it easier to stick with your new goals. Start by having a support system. Have workout partners and people you must be accountable to. (For me, that’s you guys!) Tell lots of supportive people what you’re trying to accomplish and have them rooting for you. Be positive. All successful people have two things in common — they believe in themselves and they’re excited about the future.

If you get stressed out, reach for your workout clothes, your hula hoop or your dance music instead of cookies. As little as 10 minutes of exercise puts you in an entirely different frame of mind.

But what happens if you give in to the comfort food? Never in the past did it make you happy or less stressed — it did exactly the opposite.

What typically happens when you give in to the comfort food or the Mean Girl in your head? How does it make you feel? Did you see the cameo of a very young Sting in the video? Dang he’s cute.